


I’m fine..just a bit tried

by Akaior



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Elijah just wants his brother back, Gavin and Elijah parents are dicks, Gavin does too but he doesn’t think he’s good enough, Gavin never feels like he does good enough, Gavin only ver wanted to be loved and good enough, Gavin owns cats, Gavin struggling and his family helping him, Gen, Nines Elijah and Chloe are so supportive, PS i know i went form calling Conan to Nines my bad, a lot hurt crying and yelling, everyone is trying their best, it will all work out in the end
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-25 02:01:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16652188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akaior/pseuds/Akaior
Summary: Gavin has alway struggled with himself and a lot of internalize issues, he never reach out for help believing he never deserved it or afraid if he did he would hurt his brother or what people would think of him. Despite all his faults Gavin just needed someone to tell him they loved him and that he was good enough, but since Gavin didn’t speak up about this he only ever ends up getting hurt. But this time it was worse than before and things take a dark turn and Gavin was on the edge of falling towards hopelessness or the hope of being ok.





	1. Chapter 1

Gavin POV 

It was just one of those days, well month, his depression had effected him more than usually this time of year. Well it was always bad this time of year, but it just felt different this time around than the other times. Maybe it was because the people he was close to were angry or disappointed at him this time around. Or maybe he just forgot to take his meds on a few days, his lack of sleep could be it too, probably all three. But he had no one to distract himself with, Tina was mad at him for forgetting their time to go out as friends to a place they been planning to go to for months when they had a chance. Hank was mad at him for hurting Connor's feelings, he didn't mean to, it just the case he was working on was hard and he was tired and it just slipped. Fowler was disappointed in him for snapping at Connor and pissing off Hank, but also for not turning in his reports on time. Conan was disappointed at him for the same thing as Fowler along with being mad for getting rough with one suspect and letting the other get away. Elijah was mad and disappointed at him for his attitude when he came by and he snapped at Chloe too, but he also forgot that they also had something they been planning for months; they have been trying to rebuild their relationship. He again didn't mean to, it just slipped and Elijah left telling him, he was an asshole bastard. They used to be, so nice to each other as kid, he adored Elijah and still does, he was the only one that ever loved him after all.

 

That was how the month ended and the next month began, with the deep stinging ache of anger and disappointed of the ones he loved.  With him laying on bed feeling heavy and exhausted, even though he slept much longer than normal. He was late for work but he couldn't find it in him to care, Conan had called and texted him, but he couldn't move his arm to pick up or answer back. His body ached and it was hard to breath, his stomach ached with hunger, but he wasn't hungry, he felt a pressure in his bladder but couldn't force himself to move to get up and go to the bathroom.  All he felt was heavy exhaustion, so he pulled the cover over his head and let his eyes fall shut and goes back to sleep.

 

When he wakes up again to what was a cold nose pressed on his face and several weights on his chest and stomach. It was he's cats, all three of them, Bruno meowed and a soft growl could be heard. Gavin felt guilt rip through him and he forces himself up and slowly pets Bruno "I'm sorry...” he rasp out for lack of using his voice. He looks at the time to see it was four in the afternoon, he was beyond late to work and will probably get in trouble. But again Gavin couldn't care, all he cared about right now were his cats and that's it. He gets out of the bed and stumbles then shivers, he felt cold and heavier than normal. Gavin coughs as his chest felt like it was too tight and that it was being weighed down and his throat felt dry. He stumbles into the kitchen and pulls out cat food and put some in each bowl. Then he gives them fresh water, when goes to dry his hand he knocks over a glass cup. He bends down to clean it to protect his cats and at first it was fine until the last shard cut into his hand. Gavin hisses but it felt good, he quickly throw away the glass then stares at his hand.

 

It had been year and half since he last cut himself, in a promise to a cat he use to have, Mittens, he died, but anytime Gavin tried to cut himself he would block him, so when he died he promised he would stop. But...this month was harder than most and his meds weren't helping or at least he didn’t think they were and it felt good and remembering last month hurt. Without thinking or realizing he walks to his room and takes his old blade from its hiding spot and stares at it; he had somehow ended up in the bathroom just cleaning the blade. Gavin then went back to his room, his phone rings and he looks to see it was Elijah, his words shot through his head and his heart gave a sharp twist that he rubs his chest to ease the pain.

 

Gavin suddenly felt heavier then before and his body ached badly. He stumbles and collapse into his bed then drags himself into a sitting position. The pressure in his chest felt greater, his phone rings again, it was Elijah again. Memories of his childhood surfaced, he could feel his father grabbing him by his hair and shaking him. His father always called him a bastard, whore child, useless shit, or when he was really angry filthy useless whore child, he didn't get to have a name. Tears well in Gavin's eyes, Elijah called him a bastard, they used to get along but as they got older they grew apart. He pulls his legs up to his chest and stares at his blade on his bed as the tears fall. His father and stepmother were right, he's nothing but a waste of space of a disappointment and now Elijah knew it to. He wasn't smart like Elijah, or as good looking, or as good as his androids, Gavin didn’t have any redeeming qualities and Elijah knew it. That's why he made Conan because he knew he was useless and that's why Conan was mad at him because he knew he was useless too.

 

More tears fall and a soft sob leaves Gavin’s lips and that angers him, because why was he crying? It was all his fault, he made himself like this, he was the useless piece of shit that was good for nothing. Maybe he should have  listen to his dad and become a stripper or a whore because all they do is whine like he does. Hot white anger burns through Gavin and he forgets the promise he made to Mittens on his death and everyone and thing around him. He grabs the blade and rips it through his skin for all the people he ever disappointed or made angry, including the reason for what they got disappointed or angry, for being a whore child, a waste of space, and a useless piece of shit. He was so determined and entranced on his self inflected punishment that he didn't here his phone ring seven more times, or his cats come in and meow in distress, or the door opening and his cats running off in hopes that the person would help; all he could focus on was punishing himself, but also, a very small part of him, for being able to feel again.

 

No one know about his depression and anxiety, Gavin had never told anyone about it, not even Elijah, his parents hated it, they used to beat him for it. They never let him take the medicine, therapy, or any kind of help, they made him fear it more and called his depression and anxiety a weakness and that was something they didn’t need to encourage. To his parents his depression was an opportunity to sink him down further to drill in how much of a mistake and loser he was; his anxiety was an opportunity to laugh at him to watch him like entertainment, when he would look even the slightest bit stressed they would laugh and taunt him. But when he had attacks, those were opportunities to make him fear them more, they would shove a pillow in his face to make it harder to breath, they would pick him up by his hair and yell at him, they would break glass near him, they would chase him into a corner then yell, scream, punch, kick, and throw things at him. The worst of them all was when they would touch him, they would touch him like no parents should and it got worst when Elijah left for college, because now no one could walk in or would be coming home soon. That was why Elijah and him grew apart, he couldn’t stop flinching when Elijah would suddenly reach out to him, why he would at times wake up to screaming, gasping, or rocking in the corner of his bed or bathroom, he couldn’t explain that when it was time for Elijah to leave he would go pale and cling on to him, because he couldn’t and wouldn’t tell Elijah what happened or why he did those things. He couldn’t tell Elijah, why he couldn’t visit their parents and the thought of it makes him vomit with anxiety, all because Elijah loves their parents and he shouldn’t ruin that for him. So Gavin bottled it up and that builds and builds and builds, until it explodes in a flashy kind of way of a fight because he was on edge for months or a year. But sometimes, very rarely it would overflow and turn towards himself, the demon in his closet that sank it's claws into him and that was far worse because once it started it would throw Gavin into a spin and trip down life like memories that he losses track of everything.

 

Suddenly a chocked gasped cut threw the room, followed by a soft shaky whisper of Gavin and He froze. It was like ice cold water was poured on him and he turns his gaze slowly towards his bedroom door. That's when he saw them, there standing at his bedroom door was Elijah and Conan each was holding one of his cats. Elijah had Tiger, who looked anxious, Conan had Cloud, who blind and shaking in fear while curling into Conan's chest, and then Bruno, who was on the bed in front of him, his oldest, looking at him with such concern, he quickly snatched the balde from his lose hold and ran. He tried to reach for but all that was running his head was 'They saw.....now there's no hiding how weak and pathetic you are....now they know not to waste their time with you....because they know you’re a useless, filthy, child of a WHORE!'

 

Whatever peace or sick sense of calm that he created was shattered with his heart feeling like it was going to explode. The room goes blurry and stops looking and feeling like home, its start looking like his childhood home, it started looking like his personal hell. He couldn't breath, his lungs burn, and his chest hurt like it was being crushed by a car. Someone called his name, he looks up, oh god its his father and stepmother, they looked so angry and he didn't know why. "P-please I'm sorry, no, please I won't do it again, I swear, please I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, please, please don't." He begs and there were tears running down his face and he panics more because whores don't cry  when they get attention. Gavin scurbs his face, but they don't stop and then he sees the blood on hands and floor. He frantically tries to clean the mess, because a good whore doesn't make a mess and when they do they clean or take a beating for making one. But it just seemed to spread more and a sob rips out of his mouth and he feels something touch him. He screams and scrambles back with his hand over his mouth, because good whores don't make noises or scream they moan like the filthy beings they are. Black dots dance across his vision and his chest hurt really bad and he felt like he was dying. His whole body was shaking and he felt like he was going to be sick with nerves. There's hands pulling his off of his mouth, it was his mom and he sobs "M-mommy, p-pl-lease no, I'm I'm s-s-sorry." He closes his legs, even when he knows good whore spreads them wide, but he couldn’t, he didn’t want it. The world spins and black starts to creep into his vision, there's a hand on his leg, it was his father. He feels lightheaded, weak, and like he was going to pass out, he whimpers pathetically. "D-daddy...m-mommy, please, n-no m-more...I-I don’t want it....please" He turns his head to the side as the to voimt became overwhelmed he voimts the floor and his mom was still holding his hand....Was she shaking him? Suddenly he starts to choke, his lungs feel like their on fire, and the call to fall into the soft darkness didn't seem so bad. So he closes his eyes, because at least this way he didn't see it, hear it, and at the moment feelt it, he gives in and goes limp.


	2. Chapter 2

Conan's POV

Conan was disappointed, he was still upset at Gavin for his actions towards Connor and not doing his work on time, but also still for the rough treatment of the suspect. Now he was upset that Gavin was not only late to work, but not answering his calls or text. He decides that he will stop trying to reach Gavin and check in him after work, hoping he had a good reason to be late. So without much thought to Gavin's lateness other than, Gavin must have gotten drunk last night and was dealing with the consequences. With that out of mind he focuses on doing what work he could without his partner, which was paperwork. He does it without compliment, even organizes their cases and looks over the evidence again to find some new leads. Conan investigates what he can on his own, because even if he was an android he had to go to scenes with a partner for safety reasons.

 

But when work starts to come to a close and Elijah shows up, he starts to worry. Gavin had not made a single appearance in the whole day and didn't call in either. He looks at Elijah's face and sees his annoyance, but when their eyes meet, annoyance quickly changes to concern. Conan starts to look back on Gavin's actions in the last month, Gavin seem to have draw into himself and was quite and resevered. That was not like Gavin, he decides to go speak to Elijah, it appears he had the same idea as they meet outside. They both find that Gavin was not only not at work for the whole day, but has not answered his call. It worries them so they go to Gavin's apartment, on the way Elijah attempts calling several times, Gavin still doesn't respond.

 

When they get to Gavin's apartment the three (Chloe was with them) quickly take the elevator to the sixth floor. They reach Gavin's apartment door and knock, they get no response, their worry grows. Elijah knock several more times before taking out his spare key to Gavin's apartment and opening the door. They were greeted by very anxious and scared felines, Gavin's cats. One had jumps into Elijah's arms and looked extremely anxious. Elijah immediately attempts to sooth, Tiger and ask him what was wrong. Another nudges against his legs and looked like he was trying to hide. He remembers this one as Cloud, he bends down as picks him up and also tries to sooth him. Meanwhile Bruno was frantically running from them to Gavin's room and meowing in distress. Bruno had used his teeth to hold Chloe's shoes and try to pull her in the same direction, when it didn't work he ran back to Gavin's room then to them again. This happened two more times, once with Elijah and another with him, they eventually follow Bruno, since they didn't find Gavin anywhere else.

 

What they found was horrifying to say the least, he hears Elijah chock out a gasp and he shakily whispers Gavin's name. Gavin was in his room, a pocket knife in hand slashing open both of his arms with such an angry expression. For the first time since his awakening he was at a lost of what to do, Elijah and him where frozen in place. Gavin looked horrified at seeing them, like a child trying to take candy from a jar when they were not supposed to and were caught. Bruno had tooken advantage of that and stole the knife from Gavin then ran off to hide it behind the fridge, he came back soon after. Gavin tried to take the knife back but stopped, suddenly the look of horror was replaced with unbridled panic and fear. Conan notice Gavin stress levels go from 80 to 90, that was a very dangerous level to be in. And it was proven as Gavin starts to hyperventilate with a lost and distress look in his eyes. "Gavin..." Elijah says cautiously and Gavin looked up and Conan knew Gavin was no longer in this room. Gavin started to crawl away and they immediately follow his to see him crawl to the corner of his room. He started to beg them to stop and they didn't know what he wanted. Gavin started to cry and it set him off even more as he scrubs harshly at his face with his bloodly hands. But Gavin stops and stares at his hands then arms and lastly the floor which all had blood on them. Gavin frantically tries to wipe the blood off of the floor, he sobs when it wasn't working and something didn't seem right with the situation. Bruno walks forward and puts a paw on his arms, but jumps as soon as Gavin screams in fear and the feeling he had grew. Gavin uses his hands to cover his mouth, Elijah sets Tiger next to Bruno and gently moves Gavin's hand away from his mouth so he could breath. The words that leave Gavin make Elijah pale and Conan starts to get an idea of why Gavin didn't speak of his past. He watches as Gavin closes his legs as if to protect himself from being touched. Conan had theories but he needed to know if it was true, so he place Cloud next to the others then places his hand on Gavin's leg. He got his answer but Gavin's word and reaction was truly sickening. Elijah panics as Gavin processed to vomit, he turns to Chloe to see she was just as worried. "Pleased call an ambulance, his stress level is at 97 and increasing, at this rate he will have a heart attack or faint. He has lost too much blood and will need stitches and to be medicated." He request gently with only a slight shake to his voice. Chloe gathers herself then nods and goes to the living room to make the call. He turns back to Gavin when he hears Elijah shreek Gavin's name; Gavin had fainted, he was pale and sweating, he lost a lot of blood. Elijah was now panicked and crying, this was not his level of expertise. So he gently guides Elijah and the cats out of the room to the living room; Chloe immediately tends to Elijah and keeps the cats and him out of Gavin's room.

 

Conan goes back to Gavin and takes the bed sheets then picks up Gavin; he goes into the bathroom and leans Gavin against the tube with his arms in the tube. Conan garbs some towels and turns on the water to warm, he takes Gavin's arm and let's the water run over it. Gavin groans in pain, but Conan continues to do what he could to save Gavin. He grabs the liquid soap and put some on a hand towel then runs it under the warm water, he gently cleans Gavin arm then runs it under the water as he looks at the damage. He could see other more older scars and painfully takes note of them along with the newer ones. Conan pulls Gavin's arm out when the soap washes off and the bleeding slows, he pats Gavin's arm dry then wraps the towel around it tight, Gavin whimpers but he keeps going; Conan repeats the steps with Gavin's other arm then goes back to the first arm he took care of. Conan takes the sheets and tore it into a long strip then takes off the towel, he takes two hand towels and folds them to use as gauze to cover the cuts then takes the ripped up bed sheet and ties it tightly around Gavin's arm. Gavin whines but he keeps going and repeats the step with the other arm, then he takes the last towel and runs it under warm water and cleans Gavin as best at he could. It would take 20 minutes for the ambulance to reach Gavin's apartment meant, it took him 3 to do this.

 

He picks up Gavin and takes him back to his room and chances his clothes so he looked somewhat alright. Conan then picks Gavin up and goes to the living room and lays Gavin on the couch with his arms leaning on the armrest so they could stay up to cause blood flow to slow. He trusts Chloe to watch over Gavin as he goes back into Gavin's room, he uses the other bed sheet to clean up the blood. Conan then starts packing Gavin's comfortable clothes into two bags then packs the cats  things. It took him four minutes, five if he counted the trip to Elijah's car to put everything in the car then go back upstairs running. When he came back he took the cats into the bathroom and quickly washes the blood of them with the hand towel. They seemed to want to blood off too so they behaved then ran back to the living room with Gavin. It took five minutes, he then gathered all the bloody and toren sheets, towel, and clothes. He puts it in trash bags and then throws them out in the garbage shoot that took four minutes. A total of 16 minutes to do everything, he turns to Chloe then Elijah and kneels in front of him. "Elijah, do you think you can walk?" He nods and Conan stands and puts the cats collar on then leashes. "Then let's head downstairs so they can take Gavin quickly." Elijah seems to gain determination as he takes a deep breath. Chloe takes Bruno and Cloud, while Elijah takes Tiger, and Conan takes Gavin and  holds him like a toddler so he can have his arms stay up.

 

Luckily no one was on this floor or in the elevator so the went without incident; when they got downstairs Chloe gets the cats and Elijah in the car as the ambulance comes in. The paramedics quickly take Gavin and let Conan ride with them with Chloe and Elijah following behind. Conan gets praised for his quick thinking, but he didn't care for it he was focused on Gavin and his vitals. They get to the hospital three minutes faster since everyone had been made aware the first time the ambulance went through.

 

Gavin was getting checked over and stitches, while some nurse contacted his doctor and looked through Gavin's medical records. Chloe had driven back to Elijah's home to drop off Gavin's things and` cats so the other Chloe's could care for them. She would be back soon, so he stayed with Elijah as they both wait in silence for news on Gavin's condition. Elijah had gone very quiet and was staring intently at the wall in front of him. Conan monitored him to be sure he didn't slip into shock, so he would occasionally gain Elijah's attention and he would be given a wary smile in return.


	3. Chapter 3

Elijah POV

Elijah was terrified at what he saw at Gavin's apartment what Gavin had done to himself. But he had in a way sobered up during the trip to the hospital enough to get some things in order. He had made it clear with Chloe that he would be working from home until Gavin was stable both physically and mentally. That he would be making time for Gavin in his schedule and that a room should be made for Gavin and Conan, because even a blind person could see Conan and Gavin were close. He then requested that if she could to bring Gavin and himself some clothes and to go shopping for some clothes for Conan. Then he asked her to help the other Chloe's hide all sharp objects and help the cats to become accustomed to his home. Also ask if possible for the other Chloe's and her to give the cats a bath to rid of all of Gavin's blood. Afterwards that if she so wanted she could come back to the hospital, be he begged her to change from her bloody clothes.

 

He was now sitting here in the waiting room waiting for news on Gavin. Elijah blinks as Conan gently nudge him back to realty to be sure he did not slip into shock. He found it endearing and sweet despite the situation, but this time he turns to face Conan and he copies the motion. "Conan, call Gavin and yourself out of work, they be fine with Connor and if they really want you to work then you can work from my home. Tell them that I personal said that the only one way you’re showing up is an emergency where a riot or mass murderer or something alike happens." He says softly in a gently manner that no one but his creations and people he truly cared for got to see. Conan gave him confused look, but wanted to aspect the offer always. Elijah gives him a sympathetic smile and gently places his hand on top of Conan. "I know you and Gavin are close and despite you trying to remain brave, it only worked because you had something to focused on. Don't give me that look." He chide gently in a mother hen type of manner, it was something both he and Gavin loved and hated, they we're natural mother hens. Elijah softens his demeanor and gently cups Conan's face in a mothering manner, they were alone and no one would see. "Don't lie to me, I made you Conan and I do the same, so please, listen to me. You're fine for now because you have something to focus on which is Gavin's well being. I'm doing it too I'm already thinking of ways to help him and make sure all the Chloe's are downloading therapist information to deal with anything Gavin has. But...when that stops and you have , we have done everything, we could at the moment...the reality of the situation will come to you and hit you hard. You care for Gavin like I do, I know you would like to stay close to him and watch over him. But also even though you were brought into this world as a deviant, I know you haven't been very emotional norhave you shown very many emotions. This is traumatic and is hard to wrap yourself around, you'll need time to process it all. And there's going to be confusion and many other emotions and tears, I want you to be around other's that feel the same and experienced the situation and are willing to help. Alright, does that make sense?" He continues to speak softly. Conan nods and calls Gavin and himself out of work on medical and emotional issues, Fowler agrees to the conditions.

 

It was and hour before the doctor came to see them, Chloe had come back 20 minutes ago; she had told him everything was ready and had given them clothes to change into. They both change in the bathroom quickly, then threw away their clothes and came back to the waiting room they wee left in. When the doctor came into the room they all sat up straight in their sets, the doctor focus on him. "Family of Gavin Reed." He ask and Elijah nods, the doctor doesn't even question Chloe or Conan. But the doctor does give Conan a wry smile "We really have to meet in better circumstances, Conan." Conan nods in a greeting "Yes, we do Dr. Jones." The doctor sits across from them with a sigh "I owe you, Conan, you really did save him again, by cleaning his cuts and slowing down the blood flow." Jones looks at Chloe and Elijah "Wlep let's get through this, I'm Dr. Jones, Gavin's primary doctor. Yes, I know who both of you are and nothing will leave this room, fame doesn't interest me, Gavin's health does." Elijah likes the man insistently without a doubt.

 

Jones POV

Jones was relieved that Gavin had people on his side, because this was going to be a trying time for all of them including Gavin. "Now, thats out of the way, let's talk about Gavin, but I’m going to take us back a bit, because Gavin is stubborn and doesn't tell anyone when he’s got a problem." Jones sits up and rest his elbows on his knees. "General medical history, Gavin has queit a few injuries, from his job or fights that he gets into often. He's had a few broken bones such as a broken nose, ankle, leg, ribs a long with fractures in his ribs and skull and of course dislocated ankle, wrist and shoulder and a lot of stitches. But the more constant and medicated side of Gavin's medical history is his depression and anxiety..." He pause and looks at the group and he can intensely tell none of them knew, typical Gavin; Jones sighs and gives them a few minutes to take in the revealing information. "I can see you have just been informed of this, so I'm going to give you a breakdown of his mental health." He takes a deep breath and gets comfortable because this was going to be long, but Gavin wasn't waking up anytime soon, so no, better time then now. "Depression is feelings of severe despondency and dejection. There are different types of depression such as major depressive disorder, persistent depressive disorder, bipolar disorder, seasonal affective disorder or (SAD), psychotic depression, ‘situational’ depression, or atypical depression. Gavin, has persistent depressive disorder, or previously known as dysthymia, which is a low-grade persistent depression, and chronic depression. Persistent depression is a mild but long-term form of depression, it’s defined as a low mood occurring for at least two years. 

People may experience:

-Mood: sadness, anger, general discontent, guilt, hopelessness, or loss of interest

-Whole body: excessive hunger, fatigue, or loss of appetite

-Sleep: excess sleepiness or insomnia 

-Cognitive: lack of concentration or slowness in activity

-Also common: indecisiveness, irritability, or low self-esteem

The signs and symptoms of persistent depression are:

-Sadness or depressed mood most of the day or almost every day

-Loss of enjoyment in things that were once pleasurable 

-Major change in weight gain or loss of more than 5% of weight within a month or change in appetite 

-Insomnia or excessive sleep almost every day

-Being physically restless or rundown in a way that is noticeable by others

-Feeling of hopelessness or worthlessness or excessive guilt almost every day

-Problems with concentration or making decisions almost every day

-Recurring thoughts of death, or suicide, suicide plan, or suicide attempts.” 

He pauses for breath and to let the information sink in, but to also let them calm themselves; Elijah had gone pale and he didn’t want another incident on his hand for everyone in the room sake and Gavin’s. After a few minutes pass he considers starting up again since Elijah looked a bit better that Conan and Chloe were giving him physical comfort by holding his hands. “There are treatments to persistent depression, here are a few:

-Self-care, in the form of physical exercise; it’s aerobic activity for 20 to 30 minutes 5 days a week, it improves cardiovascular health. Gavin actively does this form of treatment

-Therapies, the type for persistent depression is psychotherapy, it’s treatment of mental or behavioral disorders through talk therapy. Gavin has tried this treatment and has stopped because he didn’t want nor like talking about his problems with strangers.

-Medications, there are many, antidepressants, they prevent or relieves depression and elevates mood, the common medication are Bupropion, Ventlafaxine, and Trazodon; then there’s selective serotonin reuptake inhibtor or (SSRI), they eases symptoms of depressed mood and anxiety, the common medication are Sertralin, Citalopram, and Fluoxetine. Gavin actively takes Sertralin, I’ll explain what it does later, so it makes more sense.

-Specialists, there’s primary care provider, that’s me, I prevent, diagnose, and treat, which I have done. Then there’s clinical psychologist, they treat mental disorders primarily with talk therapy, as I stated before, we have tried this, but Gavin did not like this form of treatment. Lastly there’s psychiatrist, they treat mental disorders primarily with medication, we are doing this.” Jones takes another pause for a breath and to see how they were doing and if they were understanding what he was saying, which it seemed they did, so he continues. “That was a breakdown of Gavin’s depression, I’m now going to give you a breakdown of his anxieties. Now, anxiety is intense, excessive, and persistent worry and fear about everyday situations. Much like depression there are many types of anxiety, there’s generalized anxiety disorder or (GAD), social anxiety, specific phobias, panic disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder or (OCD), and post traumatic stress disorder or (PTSD). Gavin has two kinds of anxiety, which are Generalized anxiety disorder or (GAD), this one being primary since he had this first, and Post traumatic stress disorder or (PTSD) as secondary due to certain circumstance.” He pauses because Elijah looked like he was going to drop, he immediately forces Elijah’s head between his legs to force him to take deep and slow breaths. “Can you two keep him like that for a few minutes, I’ll be right back.” Chloe and Conan immediately hold Elijah in that position and he goes into a doctors lounge nearby, he grabs a water bottle and a few hard candies that they gave at the nurses desk. Jones walks back to the group 15 minutes later with water and candy in hand, he opens the bottle for Elijah and hands it to him “Drink that, slowly, take small sips” he orders and Elijah does as told, Jones waits for Elijah to drink 1/4 of the water before taking the bottle and handing him a piece of candy. Elijah looked at him oddly “Just chew on it” he responds as he closes the water bottle and places the bottle and candy on a table next to Chloe, then waits a few minutes in silence. After 10 minutes pass, he gently takes Elijah’s wrist and looks at his phone while counting in his head, after a minute he nods to himself satisfied and leans back looking at Elijah. “Feel better?” he asks and Elijah nods “Yes, I do, thank you...” he response quietly and Jones nods “Good, anytime you feel like this is too much you tell me and I’ll stop until you feel better, that goes for you two as well, alright?” they nod and he was satisfied. “Alright, are you all, alright for me to continue?” he ask, they gave affirmation and he nods then takes a deep breath, before continuing. “As I said before, Gavin, has two types of anxieties, the primary one being Generalized anxiety disorder or (GAD) and the secondary being Post traumatic stress disorder or (PTSD). Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) is feeling anxious on most days, worrying about lots of different things, for a period of six months or more. Post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), this can happen after a person experiences a traumatic events, for example, war, assault, accidents, disaster, in Gavin case it revolves around abuse from what we could get when he used to do talk therapy. Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) has symptoms similar to panic disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorders, and other types of anxiety; these symptoms include constant worry, restlessness, and trouble with concentration. People may experience:

-Pain areas: in the back

-Whole body: fatigue, lightheadedness, restlessness, or sweating

-Psychological: sever anxiety, fear, or repeatedly going over thoughts

-Behavioral: hyper-vigilance or irritability 

-Cognitive: lack of concentration or unwanted thoughts

-Also common: emotional distress, excessive worry, difficulty or failing asleep, headache, nausea, palpitation, or trembling

Post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) symptoms may include nightmares or unwanted memories of the trauma, avoidance of situation that brings back memories of the trauma, heightened reactions, anxiety, or depressed mood.

People may experience:

-Behavioral: agitation, irritability, hostility, hyper-vigilance’s, self-destructive behavior, or social isolation

-Psychological: flashback, fear, sever anxiety, or mistrust

-Mood: loss of interest or pleasure in activities, guilt or loneliness

-Sleep: Insomnia or nightmares

-Also common: emotional detachment or unwanted thoughts 

Sign and Symptoms:

-Re-living the traumatic events

-Being overly alert or wound up

-Avoiding reminders of the events

-Feeling emotionally numb

Treatment for Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), treatment may include counseling and medication, such as antidepressants 

-Medication, there’s antidepressants: Venlafaxine and Duloxetine, then there’s selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI): Sertraline, Escitalepram, Citalopram, Anxiolytics, and Buspirone. As I’ve already stated Gavin, takes Sertraline.

-Self-care, there’s physical exercise, stress management: pursing an enjoyable activity or verbalizing frustration to reduce stress and improve mental health, and relaxation techniques: deep breathing, medication, yoga, rhythmic exercises, and other activities that reduce symptoms of stress. Gavin does all of theses, for stress management he has his cats and draws, and relaxation techniques he takes medication and yoga, we might want to add deep breathing.

-Therapies, there’s mindfulness therapies, cognitive behavioral therapy, psychoanalysis, and psychotherapy. Gavin has tried all of theses and has stopped all of them, because he didn’t like them.

-Specialists, there’s psychiatrist, primary care provider, and clinical psychologist; Gavin has done all these as well.

Treatment for Post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), treatments includes different types of trauma-focused psychotherapy as well as medications to manage symptoms.

-Therapies, there’s cognitive behavioral therapy and eye movement desensitization and reprocessing

-Medications, there’s selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRI): Sertraline, Fluoxetine, and Paroxetine. Gavin takes Sertraline, it can treat depression, obsessive- compulsive disorder (OCD), Post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), premenstraul disphoric disorder (PMDD), social anxiety disorder, and panic disorder. Sertraline treats all there of Gavin’s mental disorders in one medication, all we do is adjust the dosage to fit his needs.

-Specialists, there’s clinical psychologist and psychiatrist; Gavin has tried the psychologist and didn’t like it, he still doing psychiatrist.”

Jones takes time to pause and look at the others to see how they were doing and if they understood the information he gave them while he takes a breather. He watchesas the group process the information he gave them, after 5 minutes he believes it was long enough. “And that’s Gavin’s medical history breakdown from General history to mental disorder and medication and other method he uses with that, along with what he’s given a tried and given up. Any question?” He looks around as he ask, Elijah looks at him and nods “Can we see, Gavin?” he asks hopefully, Jones nods and stands “Yes, you may, but he may still be asleep and well he on anesthesia along with receiving a blood transfusion and IV, he will look pale and weak, but he’s recovering.” The others stand and he leads them to Gavin’s room that was isolated due to his reasoning and condition “Besides that, when Gavin wakes he’ll want out of the hospital, Conan knows this, so we’ll be able to keep him here for two or three days. Gavin can not be left alone until he is mentally cleared, but I’m assuming that’s taken care of, I suggest you don’t take him to his home, it would be easy for him to find or hide sharp object. With that hide or remove all sharp objects, don’t force him to talk, let him come to you, but make sure he eats and takes his medication, don’t make him feel like a prisoner or that he’s trapped, when you do, make it as easy and friendly as possible. I understand things will be different from now on, but I will say this, Gavin, hates being treated like he’s made out of glass, so don’t treat him like that.” They reach the room, but before anyone could open the door, he stops them and looks at them all “He will be out of it and may say somethings or be more emotional then he normally is, so be prepared for these next three days and more. Even when he leaves he will still be weak, sleepily, and sluggish, we intend to keep Gavin in a drugged out state it will be easier on him and us, but this means when he wakes and is off the anesthesia, he’ll be different, Gavin does’t like talking about himself or drawing attention to himself too much. When you take him home the first day or three, he’ll sleep a lot, he’s lost blood a lot of blood, he’s exhausted physically, emotionally, and mentally. But after those peace days, he’ll probably shut down on you, that’s going to look scary, its going to be him not talking to anyone and locking himself in and dark rooms and him struggling to do basic things. Like getting out of bed, using the bathroom talking, drink water, eating, and sadly even breathing, to him everything will hurt, he’ll feel heavy, and the reasoning behind why should he do those things will be foggy. You all care for him, i can tell, so these stage is long and hard, it’s going to be really hard to see and be involved in, but try your best to just be patient with him. The next stage is anger and self loathing, its going to be for the most part directed at himself, but frustration will cause him to lash out at times, he’s going to say things he doesn’t mean, just please try and understand and don’t take it to heart. After that stage there’s going to be a lot of tears on his part, he might tell you what happen or why he does certain things, your job is to just listen to what he has to say and then respond the way you think is best for him. From there hopefully a recovery, but recovery doesn’t mean he’s magically fixed and whole again and will be happy, no, it just means for now he’s better and ok, he’ll still have persistent depression, GAD, and PTSD, that will never go away. Some days will be easier than others for him, for example last month (November) and this month (December) are his drops, which means his depression gets worst, and around his birthday month (October) makes his GAD act up more and his birthday week builds up his PTSD. His birthday week is when he gets more drunk then usually, on his birthday he’s completely wasted, he also smokes a lot more around that week, but it increases during that month. Just to sum this up his mental disorders won’t go away, they could become easier to mange though, also with this time and recovery be patient and understanding with Gavin, but firm.” Jones then opens the door to Gavin’s room and speak’s softly “You can stay over night, its allowed here, there’s a coffee machine at the end of this hall and tea bags with hot water as well, the nurses will bring you food, but we have a food court on the lobby level also. Please, keep your voices low there are other patients sleeping and recovering, no more than three people in this room at a time, if he asks you to leave then leave, you could always come back after an hour or so. All the nurses understand and respect privacy, you will not be all over the internet and neither will Gavin. Internet’s free, just accept our terms and conditions and TV has every channel, just keep the volume low and there’s a bathroom and shower in this room. Thank you, for being patient and have a nice night, a nurse will be around hourly to check on Gavin.” With that he left to go update Gavin’s file and send a note to Gavin’s work explaining he will be out on medically leave for a while. 


End file.
